Sayings like “The first impression counts” or “There is no second chance for a first impression” are familiar to us all. We grew up with it and believed it. Just as we believed so much of what we were told back then, once upon a time. And we still believe most of it today. The fact that we believe these “wisdom“, that they are our convictions, is not the worst thing about it, but that we act accordingly. To act according to it is really dramatic.
We like to be deceived
We firmly believe that our beliefs are true in every context of life. They give us the framework in which we act. Someone who really believes that the first impression counts will place little value on the second impression and thus limit himself. Our convictions allow us routine in everyday life AND at the same time they always have a limiting part. Let’s set an example.
Imagine you are approached by a really attractive person (woman or man, freely selectable according to your personal preference). The distance is approximately 50 metres. This person makes a first impression on you which, admittedly, is fabulous. You have a picture in your head. You cannot hear, smell or taste this person. The first impression is fixed, pictorial. Memories of earlier experiences come to mind. The distance, just a few more meters, what will you do? For example, smiling could be a good idea.
And now the opposite. Someone who doesn’t seem attractive at all comes into your field of vision. You do not pay any further attention to this person. Period.
We’re making a big mistake
What really happened? There are two things:
- It is not the first impression someone makes, but the first impression of someone who reminds you of someone else who is coming into your head.
- You treat this person in the same way as your first impression: with a smile or with no attention.
We make a big mistake, we project our experiences on other people and then treat them accordingly, good or bad. And even worse: we ourselves are doing well or badly. Communication succeeds or fails.
What can a solution look like?
The art of successful communication lies in the development of Rapport. In Rapport, we create a relationship
“People like people who are the way they are or the way they want to be.”Tony Robbins
Milton Erickson was a master at building rapport with his clients in a matter of seconds. His treatment success speaks volumes. With people with whom we are in rapport-we feel a connection that allows us to communicate with each other at a high level.
My clients experience in our cooperation how the rapid development of Rapport works reliably. They are surprised how simple and positive their communication has become. Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org to find out how this can be implemented in your company.
Thomas W. Albrecht works with people who give full throttle and are at the point of changing their thinking patterns and putting them on the road to success.
He is a speaker, author, coach,
Many of his clients work until they fall over, the house blessing is already crooked, the partner and their own children can hardly be seen, the stress is overwhelming and the limits of the excessive demands are exceeded.
It brings them back to their authenticity and joy of living so that they can act clearly, focused and excellently in every situation in the future.